Health Care

THIS ARTICLE IS PART OF THE "DRUNK MAN CHRONICLES"

If there is something that can irritate the hell out of me is hanging around and hearing someone announce: “Mannnnn I’m drunk…”
Just as irritating is to hear a woman say “I can’t see anything” after one sip, but the worst thing is “Dude I can’t remember nothing from last night” you think? After one drink you wuss? It usually comes from the wuss above waking up next to land wash whale in a false pretence of a woman.

As a long time scholar of “binge drinking” (I’m a college graduated) let me set the record straight as far as “binge drinking”.

Definition: Extends period of time (more than two hours), usually two days or more, during in which a person repeatedly consume a real alcoholic beverages (not zima) and get himself completely trashed. Making the activity of driving completely illegal in at least 48 states.

During my research on “binge drinking” which was never conducted due to lack of funds, I have discovered 3 main groups of “binge drinking”:
Group A- the American college drinker – “dude I’m in my 5th year in pre-med, you can drink it.”
Group B - the English football fan – “you’ll never drink alone”.
Group C – the Russians (not all of them, only 10 out of 9 and if you think its irrational number, you are drunk).
Subcategory of the Russians is the frozen Russians which drink only when its snows outside, a.k.a., 365 days a year, which is a lot.

In my opinion, waking up face down, knee high, in an ocean of piss and puke isn’t fun. Nor opening your eyes and discovering you slept with a whale, or waiting for that noise that your brain produce when attempting suicide while jumping out of your own skull is ranked top 5 in “things you don’t want to do/feel/”why did I drink that extra bottle of zima”.

So next time, if you aren’t in a fraternity party, football/soccer game between Liverpool to Manchester United or freezing to death in Moscow don’t rush to make the unwelcome statement: “Man/Dude/Bro/Mate/ Buddy/Pal/Amigo, I’m drunk”.


Al Einstien was an addict. It took me 6 years to be rehabilitated. these days he lives the boring life of 9-5. In his spare time he share his stories in his blog Drunk Man Chronicleswww.wwwpd.org.